Quater Life Crisis

I've just been looking through some old stuff I wrote a fair while ago, and while most of it was very bad one thing caught my eye that I quite liked. My recollections a little hazy but it seems when I was twenty I had a crisis of, well I can't say belief, lets just call it a crisis. Anyway as is usual for me when crap like that happens I sat down and wrote about it, this is what came out.


Quater Life Crisis

So here I sit, twenty years old and without a fucking clue. What am I doing with my life? People all around me seem to know the answer to their own question, why can’t I answer mine?
Ever since I hit eighteen people have been pressurising me about what I’m doing with my life, they seem to think I should know. It never seemed to bother me until now. Quarter life crisis here I come.
I guess it was ok until Robbie figured it out for himself. He’s got it right too, joining the army. Nice pay, good prospects. That’s what they say. No one seems to mention the prospect of him coming back in a body bag. Impolite I suppose.
Up until Robbie decided on the army I was okay. I could justify my wasting my life away by him wasting his. We were partners, giving the middle finger to society together. Screw there propaganda telling us we should be in university or searching for a career, we were young, we were free and by God we were drunk! Talk about the mother of all hangovers. Not only do I have one hell of a headache I’m now apparently lost and in need of direction.
I suppose I could go with Robbie, that would solve my problems but I don’t think the army’s for me. I’m a bit too fat, a bit too lazy and a bit too intolerant of authority figures. No, the army and I would not be a match made in heaven.
But maybe I shouldn’t rule out all of the armed services, I could join the navy, sail about in big ships all over the world, that could be fun. Oh no, can’t swim. Bugger.
Hmm, there must be something I could do with my life. I’m a resourceful guy, did well in school, hell I even tried university once or twice. There should be plenty of prospects for people like me. Apparently not. There doesn’t seem to be too many want ads asking for a fat arsed, lazy, 20 year old who dropped out of university twice and has never finished anything he started in his life. But oh wait, he did pass English, we could definitely use him!
Ok so the business sector is out as well as the armed services. No problem, there’s plenty of other career paths. I could be a civil servant, the government is full of incompetent jackass’s, why not one more? Ah yes, there’s the problem, those jackass’s all got elected. It seems the only way for an incompetent idiot to get a job these days is for the public, in all their wisdom, to elect him to it.
So I guess that’s where I should be heading, into the friendly, welcoming world of politics. Oh yes, this could definitely work out. I’m a lying, deceitful, piece of shit, I should fit in nicely. Just one problem, I’m completely politically apathetic, it seems to get elected you at least need to believe in something and unfortunately I don’t. Well I do believe I should be having a lot more sex but apparently that’s not a platform I’m likely to get elected on, unless I suddenly turn into Bill Clinton. So on we go.
Where too now? Politics, business and killing people is out. Maybe the arts. Yes, the arts. Why didn’t I think of this before? The whole art world is full of pompous, ‘look at me I’m the greatest thing ever!’ Know it alls who call everyone ‘darling’ and are camp as fuck. I can be like that! I am like that! And I can draw…. Kind of. I can write too, you know I wrote essays in school. I also owned a guitar for several days, I never played it but I owned it. And I’m sure I could act, I took part in my drama class at school, did the miming and all that. Surely these are all things I could try and be successful at. Nope, it turns out you need talent, who’d have thunk it? Well, that’s not the whole truth really, you can make it without talent but you need to be pretty. Not a word someone would use to describe me without serious medication.
Is there anything else left on this list? Maybe I’m doing this wrong, instead of going through career options and listing why they’re not right for me I should be looking at myself. Look at my likes, my dislikes, what I’m good at and what I’m shit at. Maybe that’s the best way to figure out what to do with my life.
Looking at my attributes is not something I enjoy doing, for some reason it always depresses me, I guess it’s because I lack any that would allow me to be considered a decent human being. Maybe this is just my own self loathing talking but I do loath myself.
Okay, its going to be painful but it has to be done. Let’s start with my likes. I enjoy watching TV, sitting on my arse, a good book is always enjoyable, drinking myself into oblivion has also become something of a hobby and of course there’s the self loathing, I’ve turned that into quite the enjoyable experience. Now, what do I not enjoy? Working. Okay, that was helpful.
Maybe looking at my skills would be more helpful. I’m okay on a computer I suppose, if you can count trolling the internet for porn as being computer literate then I definitely would qualify. Other then that I don’t seem to have any demonstrative skills that I’m aware of.
Perhaps I could be one of those evangelicals you see on television all the time who go on rants about, well just about anything these days, and why that’s going to cause the end of the world. I can do rants, I’m doing one right now. And I’m cynical, surely that’s another plus. Sure I don’t believe in God, or in anything really but I don’t see why that should hinder me… Oh, right.
So, what is a guy to do? Twenty years old and without a fucking clue. I’ve got no purpose, no direction, no prospects and no skills. I think it would be fair to say things don’t look good for old Johnny. I’ve been thinking about this for a good ten minutes now and I’m stumped. Oh fuck it, I can’t be arsed. I can deal with this later, I’m only twenty after all…

Festival Daze (Part 2)

Ok so what follows is Part 2 of Day 1. Enjoy.

“Right.” Anna said as she sat up.
“Right, what?” James looked over at her.
“Right, I’m going to the toilet.” She clarified.
“I’ll come with.” James volunteered sitting up himself.
The pair climbed to their feet while Phil remained unmoving, arm across his eyes, quite possibly asleep. Once stood up James nudged him with his foot, half to see if he was actually asleep and half just for fun, but he got no response. Shrugging he turned to Anna and began following her away from the tents onto the path.
Once they reached the path they looked back to the tent circle and saw Brian running around, whooping at hollering at nothing distinguishable, a great smile on his face. He seemed to be having the time of his life.
Anna watched him. “How does he do it?” She asked.
“Do what?” James replied, while he too watched Brian.
“Have so much fun, we all have a great time and I always look back on last years fest happily but he just manages to take it to another level.”
“I don’t know. He does have a knack for it though.” James replied before bursting out laughing. While running around Brian had tripped and fallen and James couldn’t help himself.
As they continued to watch Brian climbed back to his fee and he noticed them looking and laughing. Wandering over he threw his arms round James and drew him to a bear hug. James returned the gesture of affection before Brian moved onto Anna.
“James, you’re a legend! And, Anna!” He exclaimed as he hugged them.
James chuckled and shook his head at his friend. “Man, how do you do it?”
Brian looked round at James, smiling. “Do what?”
“Enjoy this so much, you get more fun out of this then anyone.” Anna elaborated for James.
The smile on Brian’s face grew wider as he placed an arm round both of his friends and drew them close. “You want to know?” He asked as they leaned in to listen.
“Yeah.” They both replied.
His smile remained in place but his tone indicated just how serious Brian was about what he was saying. “It’s not that complicated really. Everyone who comes here to the fest has a great time but they don’t have as much fun for one simple reason.”
“What is it?” James prompted.
“I live for the moment, they live for the memory.”
“What?” Anna asked puzzled.
“You see them, everyone here, taking photos, posing, having fun but everything they do is judged on how much fun they’ll have remembering it. I don’t do that. I never take pictures here, I just come, get pissed and see what happens. It’s the best way. Live for the moment, not the memory.” Brian said this with great intensity and at the end he looked solemnly at both his friends who held in rapture. Then a moment later his smile returned, he clapped them both on the back and turned away, running back to the tents to join the party.
Anna and James stared after him for a moment and then looked at each other in a state of wonderment.
James spoke first. “Is it just me or did that make some kind of profound sense?”
Disbelief was evident in Anna’s voice also. “Yeah, I think it did. I’m not quite sure how but yeah.”
“Definitely a nifty turn of phrase.” James decided.
“Live for the moment, not the memory.” Anna repeated Brian’s line.
“Will have to remember that one.”
“I won’t forget it.”
“Nah me either.”
The two friends glanced back at Brian then turned away and started their walk in the direction of the toilets. For a while they walked in silence, both contemplating what Brian had just said to them, for someone as drunk as he was he made a scary amount of sense to them. Then again this could also be explained by the fact they too had consumed copious amounts of alcohol.
Turning away they set off towards the toilets, they walked together in familiar comfort, neither saying much just enjoying the presence of the other. Whereas when he was with Phil he had to fill the silences with crude and amusing insults when he was with Anna the silences always felt comfortable, he barely noticed them, they had the type of special friendship where words aren’t always needed. They walked on, occasionally brushing against each other, this slight caressing touch just reassuring each other that they were walking together.
As they left Yellow campsite and passed into Red, Anna interrupted the pleasant quiet. She wanted to know what was going on in James’s head.
“What are you thinking?” She asked.
James didn’t respond immediately, he looked around him and breathed in deeply through his nose, taking in the smell of the night. He loved that smell, night time always seemed to have its own distinctive scent, wherever you went it would always mix in with the odour of the place and almost always complimented it. He took another deep breath through is nose and looked at Anna.
He shrugged. “I don’t’ know. Probably Mel. You know how it usually goes.”
“Yeah. You’re kind of a one track record.”
“One of these days I’ll surprise you.”
“Not anytime soon though.”
“You never know, I could meet a girl and fall in love this weekend.”
“I hope you do but do you really see that happening?”
“Maybe.”
“Honestsly?”
“Got to be optimistic.”
“Since when?”
“Okay you’re bringing me down.”
“That’s my job.”
“I thought you were supposed to make me feel good.”
“No that’s Phil, I’m the one who gets to tell you how it really is.”
“You take a great amount of pleasure doing that, don’t you?”
“I really do.”
“You know friends don’t usually enjoy crushing their fellow friends hopes that much. At least they’re not supposed to.”
“I always thought we had a unique relationship.”
“Unique. That’s certainly one way of describing it.”
“What would be another?”
“Unpleasant.”
“I don’t think our friendship is unpleasant.”
“That’s because you get to do all the fun hope crushing. I’m the one who gets his hopes crushed.”
“Yeah, I do get to do all the fun stuff.” Anna smirked.
They walked on quietly as James considered something. After a moment he spoke. “Seriously though. You do, do a lot for me, listening me to bitch about Mel, giving me advice and cheering me up. What do you get out of being friends with me? I’m miserable most of the time.”
Anna paused to consider this after the playful banter she didn’t want to make a glib response. “You’re there for me whenever I need you as well. Granted you tend to need me a lot more but I kind of like that. Not that I like you being upset but I like being needed. And you’re not always miserable, in fact you’re not miserable that often, just when you see Mel around with another guy, granted that happens rather often but it just feels like it’s worse then it is because we’re here and you cant get away from it.” She finished speaking and patted James arm in a comforting gesture, then almost as an afterthought she added. “You can also be pretty funny on occasion.”
James grinned. “I can be rather hilarious.”
Anna flashed her smile at him “That you can.”
James took in Anna’s brilliant smile and it made his own grin widen. He felt all warm inside, he’d always enjoyed making Anna smile or laugh, she seemed to truly shine when she did and James liked knowing it was him who had caused her to do so.
They continued on again in more silence until they came across a large, open, blue tent set just off the pathway. It had a large group of people surrounding it and loud music blaring from giant speakers. They left the path and wandered closer to see what the tent was for, Anna followed James as he pushed through the crowd of people, when he got to the front he saw two people in giant sumo suits wrestling each other inside a makeshift ring. He laughed as he saw one of them charge the other and trip over himself before he managed to reach his opponent. On the other side of a tent two people were stood on platforms beating each other with a giant fish and a giant sausage trying to knock each other off. James wondered at the rather phallic choice of weapons.
Anna joined James and saw what was going on. She laughed and tugged on James’s sleeve.
“You have to have a go!” She insisted.
James looked down at her. “Really?”
“Yes! Go on!” She excitedly told him.
“I’m pretty sure I’ll get my arse kicked.” James wasn’t enthusiastic
Anna was. “Yeah but it’ll be fun!” She enthused.
“For you. For me it’ll probably hurt.”
“Don’t be a girl, go on!” She teased.
“Easy for you to say.” James grumbled but he turned away and headed towards the queue to play.
Anna smiled as she watched James wander over to the queaue. James’s face bore a somewhat different expression, as she watched him wait she though it was a mix between amusement, grumpiness and being a tad wasted.
When James’s turn came up he stepped forward and attempted to make his way into the giant sumo suit. He failed several times, looking rather like a limp penis trying to put on a condom. As Anna watched on she thought of this as a rather inelegant metaphor but one that was wholly appropriate.
Eventually James struggled into the giant sumo suit and lined up on the mat against his opponent. He stared across the mat and attempted to size up his opponent. Even in his rather drunken state he recognised he was in trouble as soon as he saw him, he was facing a man who, to put it mildly, looked like he wore his own sumo suit under his t-shirt, with the added rubber sumo suit it made a scary and highly comical look. Being the one who had to face him James was more focused on the scary part.
When Anna saw James’s opponent she felt a rather odd combination of emotions, ranging from guilt for making James face him to a kind of sadistic amusement at the thought of what the guy would do to him. Needless to say it would prove to be an interesting bout.
James was racking his brain to think of the best way to get through this, he was too distracted to pay attention to the referee explaining the rules, he’d heard it before anyway, to win either pin or knock your opponent out of the circle, best of three. He had just come to the conclusion that he should probably just run away when the whistle blew. He looked up to see a brick wall charging at him, in his panic he reverted to his primal instincts, he dropped to the floor in a foetal position, well as much of a foetal position as you can get into wearing a sumo suit. This however turned out to be a rather shrewd tactic as the charging wall wearing a sumo suit didn’t have the time or agility to stop before he tripped over James on the floor and fell out of the ring. The whistle blew and James had won the first point, as he looked up a round of cheers and laughs greeted him and he smiled himself. Maybe he could get through this without any pride or humiliation he thought.
The next round proved him wrong.
James scrambled to his feet and got himself in position for round two. As he considered the best strategy to stay alive for this round he glanced up at his opponent. This proved to be a mistake. The look on the brick wall’s face almost made James crap his pants. He had an indescribable look on his face but it was one that clearly expressed he wanted to cause someone considerable pain. Unfortunately it seemed that someone was going to be James. He tried to compose himself but the referee blew his whistle before he had anytime to plan anything. Instead of charging forward this time the brick wall moved forward more cautiously. Not knowing what he should do James just stood still, mesmerised by the look on the wall’s face. Watching from the sidelines Anna saw James frozen in fear as the huge bear of a man slowly approached him. She began to worry for him, if he didn’t begin moving the bear was going to be able to do some pretty painful things. She shouted out James’s name to try and shake him from his reverie. Hearing his name shouted seemed to clear James’s head. He took in the huge wall of a man approaching him and panicked again. His questionable reasoning skills decided that the best course of action would be to charge the huge man, something which must have looked either extremely brave or extremely stupid to those watching. It actually proved to be a pretty good decision as this was the last thing the big man was expecting, he had time for a brief look of surprise at the fact he was being charged before James connected. Without anytime to set himself the force of James’s charge sent the big guy stumbling backwards, the giant sumo suit adding to his balance problems. After several jittery steps the big guy eventually came crashing down to the mat on his back. James, who had somehow managed to keep his feet through all this, saw his opportunity and took it. He took off into the air, clearing a good two feet and landed, splashing down, sumo belly to sumo belly, on the big guy on the floor. As James landed a huge expulsion of breath was pushed from the big man’s body and he didn’t have time to react before the referee blew his whistle signifying the pin. James had two points out of two and had beaten the big brick wall like bear of a man.
James rolled over and began crawling away from his opponent, by the look on his face it didn’t seem wise to remain within arm length of the man. The referee then came over and helped him up and out of the suit, as he finally shrugged the extra weight off he breathed a huge sigh of relief and satisfaction.
He turned and wandered over to Anna who greeted him with a big hug.
“Well done!” She exclaimed. “I can’t believe you beat that guy.”
James tried to play macho, “You know, I got skills.”
Anna just laughed in reply to the statement and took his arm pulling him back onto he path.
“Come on, I’m busting for the loo now.”
“Alright, let’s go.” James replied.
*
“Shit. That’s disgusting.” James was repulsed
“It isn’t pleasant, definitely not fun for us girls.” Anna replied.
“Sure, risk of splinters.”
Anna laughed. “We don’t actually sit on it.”
James thought for a moment, “That must be an awkward manoeuvre.”
“Not as difficult as you might think.”
“What do you do? Stand on it and squat? Or try and go like a man? I imagine the second option would be a little hard to stay in control of whereas the first people will be able to see you from their own stalls… Though I suppose that might hold some appeal to certain types.”
Anna punched James in the arm “I’m not telling you how I pee!”
James grinned, “Why not? You know I do it.”
Anna just punched him again.
James laughed. “Ok.” Then the smile slipped from his face. “Umm…How do we poo? There’s no way I’m letting my arse touch that.” He pointed down at the object they had been staring at for the last five minutes.
They had arrived at the toilets and needless to say James was not impressed. Anna, who had attended the festival the year before, knew what to expect but she took a rather cruel delight in James’s shock and repulsion at the state of the facilities.
The cordoned off toilet facility consisted of eight trenches dug parallel to each other, each with a wooden box over the hole. The box had circular holes cut into it at regular intervals where people were supposed to expel their waste into. Privacy was afforded by open topped metal cubicles with no locks. Not the most pleasant of conditions to do your business in. Making it worse was that several thousand people had already used the toilets and floating in the trenches was a sea of urine and faecal matter. The smell was not good.
James peered into the murky gloom that didn’t do a good enough job at hiding the river of shit below them. “There is no way I’m shitting here.” He stated firmly.
Anna grinned at him. “You better be able to hold it for the next three days then.”
James grunted. “Ok I still need to pee.”
Anna nodded. “Me too.”
The two separated and did their business and then met at the toilet entrance for the walk back to the campsite. Most of the walk back was taken up by talk of the sorry state of the toilets. As they neared their tents Anna felt she let James suffer enough and informed him about the portaloos that were inside the arena. This was a great relief to James who was pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to hold in a shit for the next three days.
*
Arriving back at the camp site Anna and James found the drinking and merriment still in full swing. Brian was being his usual boisterous self and was entertaining everyone while Phil sat with Rich and made his usual sly and sarcastic comments to mostly amuse himself more then anyone else.
Weaving their way through the tents Anna and James walked towards the group to sit and join them in the fun. However as they moved past the final tent into their circle Anna noticed James was no longer moving and when she looked back she saw his face was red and his whole body had stiffened. She sighed as she turned to look where James was staring, knowing what she’d see before she actually saw it. Mel was their lying on top of some guy and they hadn’t noticed the return of Anna and James as they were rather engrossed in each other.
Anna walked back to James and put her hand on his arm, trying to comfort him and get his attention away from what he was looking at. Unfortunately it wasn’t that easy.
James couldn’t look away, he knew he should but it was like porn, you know you shouldn’t look at it but you just can’t help yourself. Except unlike porn there was not going to be a happy ending, at least for James. Inside his heart was racing and his stomach was doing somersaults. He always thought he’d be used to this sickeningly painful feeling cascading through his insides by now but each time it felt fresh, like a new knife wound to the stomach.
Phil glanced round and noticed James and Anna standing off by themselves, he could tell by the look on James’s face what was occupying his attention. He sighed as he got to his feet and unsteadily walked over to him.
Taking James’s free arm he pulled him along, away from the sight of Mel and towards Luke, Brian and Rich who were all sitting around having a merry time. As he sat back down, pulling James down with him, he offered some sage advice.
“Just ignore it, dude. It’s fucking shit but don’t let it ruin your night.”
James grimaced. “I just wish it was that easy.”
“Yeah it sucks.” Phil didn’t know what else to say. “Have a beer.” But he thought alcohol couldn’t hurt.
James took the bear and began gulping it down, Anna sat down at his other side and began talking with Brian. James half listened but he wasn’t really interested in what was being said. His mind was occupied with what was going on behind him, somehow it seemed to feel worse knowing it was going on but not being able to see it. His head was filling up with images of all different kinds of erotic things they could be doing to each other, all the possibilities just kept flashing up in front him, taunting him and torturing him The thought crossed his mind that if he just turned round and saw what they were doing to each other then that would be better because it would lay to rest all of the dirty, sickening and downright unhygienic images going through his head.
He decided to try it, reasoning that anything that he saw them doing must be better then what was going in his mind. Holding his breath he glanced over his right shoulder.
He wished he hadn’t.
He couldn’t seem to look away or let out the breath he was holding, he just kept staring at the image that was burning its way into his brain. He new he shouldn’t, he didn’t want to, but he lacked the will power to force himself to stop. After a minute his brain began to recognise the lack of oxygen and he began hyperventilating to compensate. This did however force him to finally look away.
What he saw was Mel lying on top of Mitch, making out, with her hands clearly inside his fly making certain motions while Mitch’s hand was down Mel’s trousers making similar ones. While this was not the worse thing James had imagined, in fact in the scale of what was going through his head it was pretty tame, knowing they were actually being that intimate when that was all he’d wanted for so long was devastatingly worse then the images in his head.
The somersaults his stomach had previously been experiencing now began to fade as a feeling of nausea overcame him, for a moment he almost thought he was going to be physically sick. Clambering to his feet he stumbled away from the fire as quick as his inebriated legs could carry him. He got to the path and collapsed to his knees taking deep breaths in through his nose and out through his mouth, one after the other. In and out, in and out, in and out. Trying to calm his beating heart and clear the sickening feeling in his stomach.
James stayed there on his knees for what seemed like hours but what was really only a couple of minutes. Surprisingly he didn’t really garner that much attention from people walking by, guy’s on their knees looking like they’re about to vomit aren’t a rare sight at a music festival.
Caught up completely in a world of his own misery James didn’t notice Anna approach until she laid a hand on his shoulder. He glanced up and saw her there and offered a strained smile.
“Hey.” She said looking down at him.
“Hello.” James weakly replied
Anna sat down next to her friend and looked at him sideways. “What just happened?”
James shook his head. “I don’t know… I saw what they were doing and I just felt like I was going to be sick.”
“Bit of a strong reaction don’t you think?”
He considered this. “No, I don’t think so. When you love someone watching them fool around with someone else should probably induce a strong reaction.”
To James’s great surprise Anna just laughed in response to this statement.
“What’s so funny? He asked indignantly.
Still chuckling slightly Anna replied. “You’re not in love with her.”
“I’m not?” James was unsure what to say.
“No you’re not.” Anna said, laughter draining from her voice. “Obsessed maybe, infatutated definitely but in love? I don’t think you even know what that is. If you were in love with Mel you wouldn’t be sat here telling me how you’d nearly vomited. You’d be heartbroken after what you just saw; you’d probably be weeping right now, you’d be inconsolable. You’d feel like there was a great weight crushing your chest that you just couldn’t escape from. If you really loved Mel seeing what you just saw would destroy you. Yet here you are, no more then five minutes later, feeling almost normal again, listening to me lecture you on something you’ve never felt. Don’t get me wrong you like Mel a whole lot but you don’t have any conception of what love is yet.”
James had no response to this. He just continued to stare at Anna as she lapsed into silence, confidently holding his stare. What she said had knocked the wind out of him. For the longest time he’d thought he’d been in love with Mel, not just thought, he was absolutely sure of it and yet here was Anna now, seeming more confident then he’d ever felt about anything, telling him he was wrong.
He opened his mouth to try and respond but nothing came out. He just didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what to think or to feel. With one speech Anna had just caused him to question everything he was most positive about.
James shook his head, trying to clear it and sort out what was going on. His blood alcohol level was however working against him now, he was in no condition to try and deal with this level of emotional issues. Wisely giving up on the matter for the time being he stood up and without a word went in search of another beer.
Anna just sat there and watched him leave.
*
Making his way back to the camp fire James encountered Rich, Brian, Phil and Luke heading the other way.
“Hey man, we’re going exploring. Come on.” They said as they passed him.
“But I need beer.” He replied.
Phil held up a six pack. “We got that covered.”
Considering the only thing that would be greeting him back at the camp site James was quickly on board with the exploring idea. He grabbed a beer off Phil and joined the group.
Back on the path they picked up Anna where James had left her and wandered further into Yellow camp site to explore. As they moved on James walked towards the back of the group with Phil.
“So what did you and Anna talk about?” Phil asked.
“Apparently I don’t know what love is.” James replied.
“Sounds like a bad power ballad.”
“Is there such a thing as a good power ballad?”
“Power Ballad Pete would say yes.”
“Who’s Power Ballad Pete?”
“Just this dude who Brian knows.”
“He a big power ballad fan?”
“Not really.”
“So the names ironic?”
“Nope. I just think he likes alliteration.”
“But ‘power’ and ‘ballad’ begin with different letters.”
“I never said he was smart.”
“No I suppose you didn’t.”
The friends lapsed into silence until Phil broke it.
“So Anna said you don’t know what love is?” He asked
James thought back to the conversation, “I’m pretty sure that was the gist.”
“Seems like a bit of a harsh thing to say.”
“Yeah, it threw me off a bit.”
“One would think.”
“Yeah. I thought I loved Mel… Apparently not.”
“Really?”
“Really what? Really I thought I loved her or really I don’t?”
“The first one.”
“Yeah, really. Why wouldn’t I think that? And why are people always surprised when I tell them that?”
“I don’t know, I mean I knew you were obsessed with her and all, anyone who’s in a room with you and here for more then ten seconds knows but love? It just feels so Taking Back Sunday.”
“What the fuck does that mean?”
“Melodramatic.”
“Why melodramatic?”
“I guess it’s just you’ve been obsessed with her since you met her, which is fine. Kind of. But you’ve never really spoken to her, I mean she’s a member of the crew and everything but you and her never talk or see each other unless everyone else is around.”
“So? Like you said I’ve liked her since I met her. You know I can’t talk to girls I like.”
“That’s why you can’t be in love with her.”
“Why?”
“Because you can’t and haven’t talked to her! I mean Cunt-rag and I were together for a while and she fucked me up for a year but I’m pretty positive that I wasn’t in love. At least I hope I wasn’t. If she was my first love I’m gonna be seriously pissed… I’m forgetting my point. You need to know the girl you love, you can’t just worship from afar. Well you can, but that isn’t love.”
“So if this aint love then what the fuck is it?”
“Like I fucking know. Just look at my last fucking cunt-rag of a girl friend.”
“And that wasn’t love?”
“Nope.”
“Because you seem rather bitter about it.”
“Nah I’m over it now.”
“Haven’t we already been over this today?”
“Shut up.”
“I’m just saying.”
“I said shut up.”
As they lapsed into silence they began to hear the noise that was coming from up ahead. In front of them the rest of the group were already talking and pointing about it but from the back Phil and James couldn’t quite see. It didn’t take long, however, for the group to arrive on the scene and find out what the loud shouting was.
At the side of the path, sitting comfortably in camping chairs in the centre of a circle of tents was a large group of friends, all outrageously under the influence, drinking and smoking and shouting “Waaaay!” at anyone who passed by.
This seemed to get either one of two responses from the passers by, either they’d shout “Waay!” back with some sort of thumbs up gesture or, if the person wasn’t drunk enough yet, they would be stoically ignored by someone determined not to recognise their existence. The latter of these seemed to amuse the group greatly as they would all giggle like only those who have had way too much of something know how to.
Thinking this group looked filled with suitably interesting people Brian led his own band of merriment seekers to meet them. As they approached they were greeted with a “Waay!” of their own, to which Brian responded in his own robust and unintelligible manner.
After arriving and exchanging greetings the friends split off into smaller groups to talk to some of the different people they were meeting. James ended up with Luke talking to a guy who was raving about the Lost Prophets. He quickly lost interest.
Glancing around to find something else to occupy his attention James’s eyes settled on Phil who was chatting with a few of guys who were passing round some kind of joint. When one of them offered it to Phil he took it and looked at it for a moment before giving a shrug which clearly expressed a feeling of “Why the fuck not?” and took a long drag off it. He took a couple more before passing the joint back and it began to circulate again in the other direction.
As Phil began to talk to the guys again James’s interest began to wane and he began looking around to his other friends to occupy his attention. His attention was brought back to Phil’s group however when one of the guys who’d been smoking the joint fell out of his chair.
James’s grew more interested when he saw the guy push away a friend who had gotten up to see if he was ok. The guy started yelling things that didn’t really make any sense and he quickly became the centre of attention.
James wandered over to Phil and asked. “What’s going on?”
“I’m not quite sure.” Phil responded
“It’s nothing, he’s just having a bad trip.” The guy Phil had been talking to, who was called Kyle, informed them as they watched the guy begin to freak out even more.
“A bad trip? Off weed?” Phil questioned.
Kyle laughed. “That aint weed man, it’s acid.”
“Acid? In a joint?” Phil asked.
“Purple haze, man.”
“Really? Fuck, I thought it was weed.”
“You never done acid before?”
“No.”
“Well you’re in for a treat.” Kyle chuckled.
As Kyle said this the guy who was ‘having a bad trip’ began to scream at his friend and chasing after him.
“You think you’re going to take me? I’m going to rip your fucking nipples off!” He yelled.
“Whoa, calm down dude.” His friend laughed while trying to avoid him.
“Fucking death, thinks he can fucking take anyone he fucking wants, I’ll fucking nut him!”
His friend laughed again while trying to stay away from him, they began moving off away from the tents as the guy who was tripping chased his friend.
“Shit. That’s a bit fucked up.” James chuckled..
“Nah, its classic stuff.” Kyle laughed as he watched them in the distance.
“So I’m in for that too?” Phil asked, sounding a little worried.
“Something like probably.” Kyle responded
James looked at Phil. “Should be an interesting night.”
“Yeah… I think I’m going to head back now.”
“Yeah, probably a good idea. I’ll come with.”
They said they goodbyes and then headed off, Anna and Luke decided to join them while Rich and Brian stayed behind still talking with their new friends. As they walked back James discussed the bands they were planning on seeing the next day with Anna and Luke.
“I’m looking forward to seeing Brand New, I think they’re second on the main stage so going to have to queue early to get in.” Luke said.
“Yeah that big queue’s always a bitch.” Anna replied.
Luke asked. “Who you looking forward to seeing, J?”
“Hell Is For Heroes should be pretty awesome and I wanna catch Nine Days too,” James turned to Anna. “You still up for coming to see them?”
“Definitely.” Anna replied, “You know I can’t resist some crappy emo.” She finished grinning.
“Don’t think I’ll join you for them.” Luke added
“Why not? You know you love the emotional music.” James teased.
Luke chuckled. “Of course. Can’t get enough. Nothing like listening to bitchy guys with high voices wine.”
“You know, I think you have a rather one sided view of emo.” James suggested thoughtfully.
“Yeah and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.” Luke responded.
“Hmm, me either.” James agreed.
They continued talking as they walked but as they neared their tents a disturbance behind them attracted their attention. They looked back to see what was going on and when they did they got the impression that Phil wasn’t doing too well.
What gave them that impression was that Phil was muttering to himself while looking about sharply, every so often he would duck or dodge out of the way of something invisible to everyone else and, occasionally, he would perform a combat roll for no apparent reason. As he watched his friend talk to himself about being attacked by flying tangerine coloured llamas James thought that they’re might just be something wrong.
He walked up to Phil and put his hand on his shoulder.
“Hey man, you ok?”
Phil stopped dodging for a second to look at James. “Umm, I don’t think so.”
“Yeah, maybe you should go lie down in the tent for a bit.” James suggested.
“That might be a good idea.” Phil nodded his head and set off in the direction of their tent, ducking and dodging the whole way.
“That must have been some messed up stuff he smoked.” Anna stated as they watched him enter the tent.
“Yeah, remind me to stay away from purple haze. Or anything some random guy offers me for free.” James responded.
“That’s probably a good life lesson to have learned.” Luke quipped.
“Yeah, I guess so.” James said as he entered their circle of tents again and sat down.
Anna sat next to him but Luke remained standing.
“Alright guys, I think I’m going to crash too.”
“Alright man, g’night.” James said
“Yeah goodnight.” Anna added.
Luke waved as he climbed into his tent to go to sleep.
This left Anna and James sitting by the final embers of the campfire, in the tent circle alone. As James looked around he deduced that Mel and her guy must have wandered off or into a tent sometime earlier. He didn’t want to let his mind consider either of those options.
Looking back at Anna he remembered the last conversation he had with her and quickly looked away again. All of a sudden he couldn’t think of anything to say to her. He’d forgotten about it for a while but what she said to him had hurt him and confused him. He still had no idea what to think about the whole thing so he again wisely decided to stay silent.
He glanced over at her again and saw that she seemed to be having a similar problem. Anna was staring down at the grass, her hands playing with an empty beer can. James remembered that they had a word to describe situations like this, awkward.
He racked his brain searching for something to say to lessen the uncomfortable feeling between them. Anna beat him to it, however what she said didn’t exactly lessen the tension.
“So…. This is awkward.”
James expelled a large breath, almost a laugh. “Yeah, a little.”
“I’m sorry about what I said.” Anna apologised.
“Thanks.”
“No problem.”
They lapsed into silence again, the awkward feeling still present. The moment dragged on with the awkward silence just growing longer and longer, neither of them knew what to say to break it. The longer the silence dragged on the more James feared to say anything, it felt like the silence was taking on a life of its own.
Fortunately for both of them it was at this point that Brian and Rich stumbled back into camp. Brian was laughing outrageously loud in that way of his while Rich had his usual jolly grin on his face and seemed barely able to stand.
“Ha hey!” Brian yelled as he noticed James and Anna sat together by the now dead fire.
“Alright dude.” James half laughed in relief, with Brian’s arrival the tension had been at least momentarily lifted.
Brian stuttered over to James and lent over, placing a hand on James’s shoulder to steady himself, and got his face as close to James’s as he could without tipping over.
“Hi.” He said.
“Hello again.” James laughed in response.
“How are you, James?” Brian asked with drunken sincerity.
“I’m not bad, how are you Brian?” James replied.
“In all honestly, James. My friend. Honestly, I’d say I’m a little drunk.”
“Just a little?”
Brian held up his other hand in front of James’s face and measured out a small distance between his thumb and forefinger. “A wee bit, yes.”
James laughed. “Ok then.”
“I don’t know what to do now.” Brian told James matter of factly.
“Maybe you should go lie down” James suggested.
“Now that’s a good idea. I could use a lie down.” Brian straightened up again, but he moved too quickly and stumbled back a few paces trying to keep his balance. He turned away from James and Anna and stumbled away towards the tents muttering to himself.
“Woah. Ok Where’s my tent. Ah, this one will do. Gah, c’mon. Fucking zip! Aha! Mmm, sleeping bag. Ugh.” He fell silent as James and Anna chuckled at his antics.
“That wasn’t his tent was it?” Anna asked.
“No… I don’t know whose tent that is.” James responded.
Anna laughed. “Someone’s in for a surprise.”
James chuckled himself. “Not a pleasant one either.”
“Well depends, a nice girl might like to find a Brian in their tent.” Anna suggested.
James laughed at the idea. “In that condition I doubt it.”
“Yeah you’re probably right… What happened to Rich?”
James looked around but couldn’t see him. “I don’t know.” He made motions to stand up to find him but before he got to his feet he saw him passed out by the side of a tent. “Ah, he’s sleeping over there.” He said pointing Rich out to Anna.
“Ah he’s ok then.”
“Shouldn’t we maybe move him inside?” James asked.
“Nah, he hates it in tents, he’d just come and sleep outside anyway.” Anna explained to him.
James laughed. “Ok then, I did not know that.”
“You learn something knew every day.”
“I suppose so.” James said looking Anna in the eye for the first time since they’re talk earlier. With that look all the awkwardness came back into the situation and they both quickly looked away again.
“Ok… It just got weird again quickly.” James tried to break the tension before it could get too bad.
“Yeah. It’s weird, was alright until a minute ago.” Anna replied.
“Why does it feel so weird now?” James asked Anna.
“I don’t know. I think it’s what I said earlier.” She responded.
“Yeah.” James said and then paused for a moment. “You know, I’m still feeling too tipsy to really think about it but what you said really messed me up.”
“I’m sorry about that. But I told you before, I tell you what I think you have to hear.” Anna explained.
“Not such a fun job anymore is it.”
Anna responded quietly. “No. It isn’t.”
They were silent again for a moment before James broke it again.
“Ok. I have an idea.” He stated.
“What is it?” Anna asked looking at him.
“What if we just forget what you said? Ignore it. I’m too fucked to think about it right now anyway, we can just deal with it later.” James suggested.
Anna thought for a moment. “I like it.” She said grinning.
“Yeah? James asked
Anna nodded.
“Ok then!” James announced. “Settled. So what do we talk about now?”
“Hmm.” Anna pretended to think hard. “How about Phil getting fucked on purple haze? Or Brian saying something scarily profound? Or you being too scared to dump in the toilets?” She finally suggested laughing.
“Yeah.” James laughed in response at they continued to talk. All the strange awkwardness now seemed, at least temporarily, dispersed.
The two friends stayed up talking most of the rest of the night, going over the events of the day and what they planned on doing tomorrow. They both enjoyed the feeling of having the easy manner they were used to back between them. They talked and laughed and joked as best friends do, until they noticed the sky beginning to lighten As the sun began its lazy journey to rise they both said goodnight and crawled into their separate tents to each get at least some semblance of sleep.

Zack and Miri

Ok so I'm a huge Kevin Smith fan and his new movie coming out soon looks fucking hilarious. Take a peep at the trailer below. A true highlight for me is seeing Justin Long as an all male porn star.

Zack and Miri Make a Porno

Festival Daze (Part 1)

Ok so I been working on a story for a while now, its a major work in progress, I've written too much to post in one go so here's part one. It's actually split into four days so this is really Day 1 Part 1 but you'll figure it out. It's about a bunch of guys at a music festival, based on some crazy times I had there myself when I was a wee nipper. Some funny shit in there, enjoy.

Day One

James was nervous. Feeling that way was not a new experience for him, in fact it could be said that nerves and James were very well acquainted. He got a similar feeling in the pit of his stomach whenever he was made the centre of attention or whenever he’d done something wrong and he was sure someone else new about it. These feelings were similar, but not the same. You see the nerves he was feeling at this particular moment weren’t the bad kind mentioned before but the good kind. The kind of nervous anticipation you get when you go out to a place where you know a girl you like is going to be or the kind of fluttering butterflies you get in your stomach when you speak to that special someone.
He gazed out of his window savouring the anticipation. This is one of the best parts, he mused, before it all starts and your filled with the promise of what’s yet to come, even though you don’t know what that is in your mind it’s always great. His mind flashed on all the images of things he thought he might get up to in the weekend ahead, and as he continued to look out of that window he saw the car pull up that signalled the beginning of it all.
Turning away from the window James picked up his last bag and headed down the stairs to add it to two lying at the bottom. He got there just in time to be greeted by a loud banging on his front door and as he pulled it open he was greeted by a familiar sight. On his front step stood a girl who could only be described as very pretty, as unimaginative as those words are, for this girl, they are fitting. She was the type of girl you could see yourself lying on your bedroom floor with, listening to cheesy pop punk songs and telling each other how you actually feel the way the song describes. She wore her shoulder length ash blonde hair tied back, mostly to keep it out of her hazel eyes then for any sense of style. Dressed in loose jeans and a hooded top she hid her slender figure fairly well. On her face she wore an uneven grin which most people she met thought of as her smile but in actual fact it was the expression she wore when laughing inside at a joke no one else new about. The lucky few she chose to favour with her true smile new better, when she smiled properly it had been known for Anna to light up a room. There are very few people on this earth who could match the natural beauty of that smile.
In the split second James took all this in most of it did not register, although he new she was attractive all he saw stood on his front step was his friend.
“Hey. Anna.” He said with a smile on his face.
“Special J,” Anna had her own special pet name for James. “You ready to go?” She replied flashing one of her own rare, brilliant smiles.
“I am,” James said as he turned towards the pile of bags. “Just let me grab my stuff.”
“Need a hand?” Anna asked stepping into the house
“Sure.”
James picked up two of his bags and Anna grabbed the last one. Together they left the house and walked towards the car. As they approached James saw most of the car was filled with luggage apart from the two front seats. Sat on the drivers side was Anna’s father and James gave him a quick wave while he walked to the back of the car to add his own bags to the pile.
As Anna opened the boot James peered into the car.
“I thought you were picking up Phil before you came here.”
Anna grinned at him. “We did, look.”
She pointed into the car through the open boot, sitting in the back seat, on the drivers side, pinned back against his chair by a large pile of bags was Phil. All that was really visible of him from James and Anna’s angle was the top of his pink Mohawk and a hand he was waving. He shouted out.
“Hey dude, good to see ya!”
James laughed. “Yeah, you too, you nice and comfy in there?”
“Oh yeah, you’d be amazed how comfortable it is sitting on tent pegs.” Phil replied, relying on his usual sarcasm.
James laughed, no one could make him chuckle quite like Phil. He threw his bags on the pile in the back and proceeded to help Anna shut the boot. It took quite an effort, as they were trying to cram in way too much stuff for small a two door hatch back to handle. However, after a surprisingly varied, and impressive, vocabulary of curse words from Anna followed by pushing yet another bag onto the back seat they managed to get the boot closed. They then walked round to the front of the car to climb in themselves. For James this was yet again no small task, he had to climb into the back over all the bags that wouldn’t fit into the boot. In the end he found himself wedged up against Phil, way too close for comfort for teenagers with homophobia issues.
“Well, this is nice.” Phil remarked as the car pulled away from James’s house.
“Speak for yourself, my head is in you armpit and it does not smell good.” James replied.
“Just be glad it’s not my crotch.”
“Oh believe me I am.”
Looking on from the front seat Anna chuckled.
*
The car pulled into the lay-by and the three friends exited the car. James and Phil climbed out rather gratefully and began to stretch there aching muscles. It had taken an hour to drive what was usually a twenty minute journey to the meeting point just outside the city.
James took in a deep breath of air through his nose. He was enjoying breathing through his nose again after being stuck sniffing body odour for the last hour. While he enjoyed doing this he observed another car pull into the lay-by behind their own, behind the wheel of the new car was a diminutive black man with a shaved head and permanent smile on his face. As the car parked Anna walked over to stand by James.
“So, Rich and Brian are here.” She commented.
“Sure looks like it.” James replied.
“Just have to wait for Mel and Luke now.”
“Who would have though they’d be the last to arrive?” James asked sarcastically.
“Shut up, they’re not always late.”
“Yes, they are.”
“I know, but you have a crush on her so be nice.” Anna said teasingly.
James blushed, “Okay, now you’re the one who can shut up.”
Anna laughed and walked towards the newly arrived car to greet its passengers. James followed her, walking towards the driver to greet him first.
“Now then Rich, took your time getting here.” He said.
“Well you know, didn’t want to risk any chance of dinking up this might fine machine.” Rich responded, flashing James his startlingly bright smile.
James laughed as he regarded the car Rich had just been driving. It was painted a combination of red, white and black, several pieces appeared to be hanging off it and not one inch of it appeared to be dent free.
“I think your ‘mighty fine machine’ might just fall apart if you get another one of your ‘dinks’.”
“Dick head… This cars a classic!” Rich joked.
James laughed, “You seriously need to get a better car.”
“You pay for it.”
“Nope.”
“Then shut up.”
“People are saying that to me a lot today.”
Rich grinned, “Maybe you should pay attention.”
“Okay.” James grinned back at him.
Turning James saw Anna and Phil talking to Brian, who had arrived with Rich. Brian caught James looking and cut off Anna mid sentence to scream out James’s name. As he did this he ran towards him and jumped at James, wrapping his arms and legs around him. James stumbled back a few steps trying to stay on his feet and hold onto him, this was not easy as Brian was a big guy. After fake humping for a while Brian finally disengaged himself and James got his first real chance to regard him. What he saw was a balloon shape with straw coloured hair, a piggish face and small, beady eyes, making Brian not the best looking person in the world, however he made up for it with sheer personality. If Brian was present there was not a person within fifty yard radius who did not know it. Loud, funny and loud, it took a lot to dislike Brian, it also took a lot to try and ignore him.
“How you doing, James? You ready for your first fest?” Brian asked him.
“I think so,” James responded. “A little nervous but it’s gonna be good.”
“Damn right it is. I broke into the beer a li’l early so I’m a feeling buzzed already.”
James laughed. “That doesn’t shock me one bit.”
Brian grinned and wandered off in search of another beer. James turned back to speak with Rich some more while they waited for the last car to arrive. They had a while to wait. It took an hour for the car to arrive and by that time Brian was snoring in the front seat of Rich’s car while the other four sat around outside discussing the weekend ahead.
When the car finally arrived the group sitting around gave a sarcastic cheer as the occupants exited the vehicle. The driver had the good grace to look a little sheepish at how late they were but the passenger seemed oblivious to the fact, ignoring the cheer and rushing over to greet everyone. Raven black hair trailed behind her as she ran into Anna’s arms for a greeting hug.
“Anna!” She all but squealed.
“Mel.” Anna squealed back.
Mel went round the group hugging everyone hello and when she got to James his heart began to race, his stomach had been fluttering since he had seen her exit the car, but none of this showed on his face as he hugged her hello. At least that was what he thought, everyone in the group saw how his eyes followed the girl, they did every time he was in her presence, he’d been harbouring a crush on her pretty much since the day they met, over a year ago, and it showed no signs of going away.
The driver of the car made a slightly more reserved round of greetings, just saying hello and waving, rather then running around hugging everyone.
Hearing all the commotion from inside Rich’s car Brian made his presence known to the newcomers.
“Luke, Mel!” He yelled climbing out of the car.
Mel rushed over to give him a hug while Luke restrained himself to a small wave.
James watched Mel as she hugged Brian, he was amazed at the effect she still had on him, it was exactly the same as on the first day they’d met, it was like she took all the air in the room around with her and he could only breath if he looked at her. His heart was still pounding in his chest at the butterflies showed no signs of going away.
Mel turned from hugging Brian and walked back towards the group and James continued to watch her. She was wearing a black tank top that showed about an inch of skin at her slim waist and dark, low riding jeans that showed off the top of her red thong underwear. That underwear drove James crazy, he’d spent an entire summer watching her waist and that underwear, he felt like it was constantly taunting him, poking its head out of her jeans just to show him it was there and rub in his face the fact he’d never get in them. James had a few issues.
Mel was an attractive girl and she knew it, she left her hair down, free to blow in the wind and kept having to brush it back out of her brown eyes. She had full, pouty lips and new how to use them; it was really quite unfair how much she had going for her in the looks department.
Everyone talked excitedly for a while, discussing the journey so far and what they were looking forward to in the weekend ahead. Finally the decision was made that they should probably set off again if they ever wanted to make it to their destination. As the group headed towards their respective cars Brian shouted over to James.
“You ready for your first music festival, James?”
“I think so.” James replied.
“You’d better be” Brian grinned and climbed into the car.
James followed suit climbing into the back of Anna’s car, next to Phil. Then, with all the cars fully loaded with passengers, they pulled out as a group to start the next phase of the journey to the festival.
*
The sun beat down on the almost stationary traffic. A creeping snake of cars stretched as far as the eye could see in both directions. James leaned his head against the window, inside the car Phil seemed asleep next to him while in the front seats Anna was absently drumming her fingers on the dashboard and talking with her father. James sighed and turned to look out of the window, peering out at the barely moving traffic.
“Is it always like this?” He asked.
Phil lazily responded, “Pretty much.”
“Took us six hours last year.” Anna added.
“We could walk there faster.” James half heartedly suggested.
“Couldn’t carry all your stuff though.” Phil pointed out.
“Why do you have to ruin all my plans?”
“It amuses me.” Phil replied, still having not opened his eyes.
James sighed again and continued to stare out of the window.
*
“This is it.” Anna exclaimed. “We’re here!”
James jerked up from the back seat, he’d nodded off several hours before, his excitement and anticipation for the festival being dulled by the monotony of the journey. Now his eagerness had been brought back to life as he eyes swept from side to side, looking outside of the car trying to take as much of it in as possible.
Anna climbed out of the car and pulled the seat forward to allow the passengers in the back to exit. They did so gratefully, both stretching aching limbs while examining the scene around them. All they could see was a mass of people surrounding them, people unloading cars and people dragging their luggage towards the camp sites. The buzz in the air was unmistakable and the noise was unavoidable, everyone was talking at the tops of their voices, no longer able to contain the excitement of being at the festival.
After unloading all the luggage Anna hugged her father goodbye and waved to him as he left. She then turned to James and Phil.
“Are you ready?” She asked with her patented grin.
James smiled back. “Sure am.”
“Then let’s go.”
Together they picked up there stuff and walked towards the camp site entrance.
“This is cool, we’ve missed the big queue.” Phil commented.
“Guess that’s the bonus of it taking forever to get here.” Anna replied
“How long do you usually have to wait to get in?” James asked
Phil answered. “Couple of hours.”
“That’s shit.”
“Aye, especially with all this crap.” Phil gestured to the luggage they were all carrying.
“Yeah, it’s fucking heavy.” James agreed.
“Tell me about it.”
They made it to the camp site entrance and showed there tickets to gain entry. Once they were through James got his first real look at where he would be spending the next four to five days. He was mesmerised by the sights he was seeing, everywhere he looked all he could see was a multicoloured ocean of tents. They were everywhere and came in all different shapes and sizes. The only thing more varied were the people who occupied them, fifty thousand people from all different walks of life could be seen. Rich and poor, black and white and everything in between. As he walked along with Anna and Phil his other senses began to register there own first impressions of the festival. The most noticeable was the smell, a combination of woodsmoke, wet grass, sweat and weed. It was pungent yet sweet, not an unpleasant odour but completely unique.
“This is amazing.” He commented breathlessly.
Anna smiled at him. “It is, isn’t it?”
They walked on and as they did Anna explained, to James, the layout of the camp site. It was split into five different areas, nearest the arena and the entrance where they entered was the tent village, this was where all the festival services and shops were located. In the shops you could purchase anything from band merchandise to bread and milk to fire wood and legal highs, the sheer range of products on sale was remarkable. Past the tent village was Yellow camp site, the biggest of the four camp sites and the most popular, this was the area with the most noise and where the most fun was thought to be had. Behind that, set on a slight rise, was Red camp site, at the back of which were the toilets which were used by both Red and Yellow campers. Bordering both Red and Yellow to the left, if you were walking from the arena, was Orange. To get to Orange you had to walk up a very steep hill but once you got to the top you were rewarded with a fantastic view of Yellow camp and the tent village The final camp site was Brown, which was furthest away from the arena and located past Orange.
As the group passed through the tent village James lingered, trying to get a good look at all the shops, he couldn’t believe the amount and the variety of things that were on sale, he was sure he’d be back to waste a lot of money there after they’d set up camp.
Once they had passed through the tent village James began to wonder where they would be setting up shop.
“So where are we camping?” James asked.
Phil replied. “We’re camping close to where we did last year on the edge of yellow. That’s where the other guys are going to meet us.”
“Ok, cool. How come they didn’t come in with us anyway?”
“They had to use a different entrance because they needed a car park, we were just being dropped off.” Phil answered again.
James considered this, “Makes sense.”
“I usually do.” Phil said, pretending to be smug.
“That’s debatable.” James replied as they lapsed into silence.
*
James’s arms trembled, he had been lugging his three bags around for almost an hour and his arms felt like lead. Having arrived so late the best camping spots had already been taken and Anna and Phil had been leading him around in circles in search of a good spot where all their friends could fit. To say that this search was proving futile would be about accurate. To say it was starting to piss James off would be a gross understatement.
“My God, how much longer are going to do this? There’s nowhere decent left in Yellow.” James complained.
“We’ll keep doing it until we find somewhere. You don’t want to camp anywhere else, Yellow is where it’s at!” Came Anna’s response.
“Fuck.” James uttered under his breath, he was not enjoying this.
Fortunately, for James, a short time after this exchange Phil’s phone rang. On the other end was Rich who was informing him of a good spot the other group had found. Upon hearing this Anna, James and Phil set off as fast as their weary bodies could carry them, and their luggage.
It was not a fun time for James, he was hot and sweaty and tired and not nearly drunk enough, when he had been going through all the fun stuff he was going to do at the festival in his head carrying heavy and ungainly luggage had not been on the agenda.
As they hurried on James began to lag behind Anna and Phil, he was unused to such strenuous activity with such heavy and unwieldy luggage. Luckily for him, just before he started to lose sight of them in the crowd, he saw them cut off the path and wander into the middle of a group of tents. When James eventually caught up he saw a very welcome sight. All his friends were stood around, laughing and drinking, having fun and attempting to erect tents. As he stumbled off the path and into the circle he dropped his bags and smiled. It had been a long journey but he felt like he now had truly arrived at the festival, this circle of tents would be his home for the next four or five days and as he collapsed to his knees, in only a partly theatrical gesture of exhaustion, he groaned in contentment.
Noticing his friend on his knees Brian walked over to greet him.
“Took your time getting here mate.” Brian said cheerfully.
Looking up from his knees James managed to nod and let out a tired sounding, “Yes, we did.”
Brian smiled down at his tired companion and held out his hand to offer him the one thing that he thought James truly needed at that moment.
“Here dude, have a beer.”
James took the beer and stared at it a moment. Then looking back up at Brian, with a slight tear in his eye, he whispered a small but truly heartfelt “Thank you” Before cracking open the beer and gulping down what stands to this day as his most refreshing beverage ever.
*
“Holy shit, this takes the piss. You have the most annoying tent ever.” Phil complained.
James tried to defend his beloved tent. “It’s not that bad, we’ve almost got it up.”
“Yeah but we still need to put half the poles in and you seem to have no idea where any of them go.” Phil persisted.
James looked over tent. “I do, kind of. I think.”
“You’re not filling me with confidence.”
“Well I’ve not actually used this thing before.” James admitted.
“Oh, that’s great.” Phil brought it big with the sarcasm.
“Shut up and give me a hand with this pole.”
James fed a pole through the tent to Phil and once it was in place the tent began to actually take some shape. After securing it down to the floor the two friends regarded the tent again.
“Well, at least it looks like a tent now.” James remarked.
“Kind of.” Phil added.
James studied the tent some more, “Yeah, but I think it’ll do.”
“I sure as hell can’t b arsed anymore.” Phil was past caring.
“So it’s agreed, we’ll leave it like this.”
“Yeah.”
“Cool.”
Phil and James each opened a new beer and toasted each other over their ‘expertly’ erected tent. As they did so Anna walked over to give her own assessment.
“Better hope a light breeze doesn’t come through, I’m not sure if it’ll survive.” She warned.
“We like to live on the edge.” Phil told her.
“Alright then. Good luck to you both.” She said as she wandered away again.
Now that there tent was up James and Phil moved their things into it and then joined there friends sitting around and drinking. The group had set their three tents up in a rough circle, leaving space in the middle for them to sit around. James and Phil’s tent was set furthest back from the camp site path with Anna and Mel sharing the tent to the left of theirs and the three remaining guys sharing the tent to the right. In the middle a rubbish pile was already starting to form, peoples empty cans of beer, tins of food and chocolate and crisp wrappers were all piled together. The group sat round this pile as if it were a camp fire while they drank and talked.
James was sat with Phil and Luke, they had all had several beers by now and were beginning to feel the effects. Phil and Luke were discussing there usual drunken conversation, Luke’s homosexuality and which guys and girls they’d both consider doing. When he had listened on this conversation in the past James had always thought that Phil agreed with Luke on a few too many guys then a normal straight guy would. He was only half listening to the conversation on this occasion because, as was usual when he was around her, his attention had wandered to Mel who was sat on the other side of the trash pile with Rich.
He tried to be subtle about his observation but he failed utterly, if one thing was true about James it was he did not know how to disguise his feelings. His eyes followed her wherever she went and when she was sat still it was just agonizingly clear to anyone looking on just how he felt.
Mel had figured out how he felt a long time ago and she knew he was watching her now but she didn’t mind, she loved it. A lot of girls like guys to look at them because it made them feel desirable but for Mel it was more then that, she liked the act of actually being desired, knowing there was a someone who would do anything for her at the snap of her fingers. There was a comfort for her knowing that, it gave her the confidence to live and act the way she enjoyed to know there was someone like James as a safety blanket. She encouraged his infatuation sometimes, flirting with him and leading him on just to keep him interested so she could keep that feeling. Mel never really considered how her actions made James feel, this was not out of any cruelty or malice but simply due to the fact she was oblivious to the consequences of most things she did.
For his part James was pretty miserable about the whole situation. There’s nothing quite like having your hopes raised and dashed continually to keep you cheerful.
As James continued to watch, Mel and Rich talked about Rich’s girlfriend, who hadn’t been able to make it to the festival.
“I thought she was meant to be coming?” Mel enquired.
“Yeah but the dick head who was meant to be selling her his ticket backed out. So she’s stuck at home. She had a right spaz when she found out she wouldn’t be coming.” Rich explained.
“She had a spaz?”
“Yeah, she has a bit of a temper. It’s pretty scary.”
“Well at least you’re free to have fun without her here.” Mel said suggestively.
“But I don’t want to have that kind of fun. I’m going to have to try really hard to be good, I don’t want to cheat but I’m shit when I’m drunk.”
“Well no need to get down about it now, hun. What happens, happens. Worry about it later.”
“Thinking like that is what normally gets me in trouble.”
Mel grinned at him and the two continued to talk.
On the other side of the trash pile Phil hit James over the back of the head to get his attention. He jerked round, clearly unhappy, and proceeded to insult Phil’s mother.
“Go fuck yourself. Now get up, we’re going to the shops.” Phil responded
This idea appealed to James who had been looking forward to seeing more of the tent village and spending a lot of money on stuff he didn’t really need. He grabbed a couple of extra beers to take with him and then he and Phil set off walking down the camp site path.
The sun was beginning to dip low in the sky and throughout the camp site the paths were all illuminated by lights on streamers strung up on either side by giant poles. As he looked up at them James thought they looked rather like oversized Christmas lights.
As they walked James decided to question Phil about something he had thought of earlier.
“So I have a question.” He started.
Phil glanced round at him. “What?”
“You might think it’s a bit personal.”
“Dude, you once asked me if I’ve ever fingered my own bum. Does it really get anymore personal?”
“I still don’t believe you when you say you never tried it.”
“Why the fuck would I want to shove a finger up my own arse?”
“Every guy’s done it at some point. Just to see what it feels like.”
“I’m guessing it would feel pretty much like a shit does as it comes out.”
“So you have done it!”
“No but clearly you have.”
James shrugged. “I was curious.”
“Bi curious?”
“That’s actually what I wanted to ask you.”
“What?”
“When you and Luke talk about who you’d do and who you wouldn’t you always agree with him on way too many guys for a normal straight guy.”
“So?”
“So… are you gay?”
“Are you?”
“You know I’m not.”
“Oh yeah, Mel. How could I forget?
“Shut up and answer the question.”
“I can’t do both.” Phil decided to be pedantic.
“What?”
“I can’t shut up and answer the question. If I answer the question I won’t be shutting up and I can’t shut up if you want me to answer the question.”
“You’re a cock.” James laughed.
“Twat.”
“Arse.”
“Tit.”
“Fuck face.”
“Cunt muscle.”
“Bum hole.”
“Bum hole fingerer.”
“Touché.” James chuckled.
The two friends continued to trade casual insults as they walked. This was there custom when they were together, James thought it was one of the reasons the two had been able to become such close friends. It seemed to him that most people seem to find silence uncomfortable and it’s because of this most friendships stall, if you don’t feel comfortable with someone in silence then there’s only so far you can go as after a while everyone runs out of things to talk about. James and Phil weren’t really that comfortable with silence but they had found something to fill in those gaps where they didn’t really have anything to say, insults. It provided both of them with amusement and kept the uncomfortable silences at bay.
As they arrived at the tent village James’s attention was drawn to a huge map of the festival and he walked over to have a look. He saw most of the layout was how Anna had described it to him but the thing that most caught his attention on the map was the location of several funfairs throughout the campsite and arena.
“Hey, you didn’t tell me there were fairground rides here.” He shouted to Phil, who was over looking at a legal high store.
“Yeah, in the arena and there’s one over near Brown and Orange I think. Expensive though.” Phil absently replied while he perused the ‘herbal’ highs on sale.
James wandered over to see what had captured his attention. “Must be fun to go on when drunk though.”
Phil laughed as he remembered. “Yeah, I think it was Brian who tried that last year. He threw up on the waltzers, went all over him and this girl he was trying to impress.”
“Bet she wasn’t too impressed after that.” James laughed.
“No she was not.” Phil responded to James.
Phil continued to examine what was for sale with a startling amount of intensity. After a few minutes James began to feel a little bored.
“C’mon, are you really going to get any of this shit?”
Phil looked round. “Probably not.”
“Then what are we doing?” James asked in frustration.
“Just looking.” Phil said as he wandered away from the stall.
“Right.” James sighed.
James followed Phil as they looked round all of the stalls in the village. Once again James was impressed with the sheer amount and variety of what was on sale. He’d never thought he’d see shops at the festival, maybe just the odd food van. One of the shops they spent a fair amount of time at was one that sold t-shirts with amusing pictures and captions on them, James ended up buying one that said, ‘Necrophilia – The urge crack open a cold one.’. Crude and disgusting, it suited his and Phil’s sense of humour perfectly.
As they left that stall, still chuckling to themselves, a girl caught James’s eye. She was short with dark brown hair and a dyed red fringe, she had a young face with freckles and startling grey eyes. There was something in the way she carried herself that made her almost seem as if she was skipping on water. Dressed all in black her naturally pale skin looked almost white in comparison. Seeing this girl James couldn’t stop his face from breaking out into a large smile, he nudged Phil and nodded in the girl’s direction and Phil smiled himself. They angled their walk towards her but before they got very near she noticed them and let out a squeal that was only partially recognisable as James’s name. She ran towards him and jumped into his arms, James hugged her close and held her in the air for a good while as they embraced. When he let her down she immediately gave Phil his own extended hug and then stood back regarding the pair.
“Stevie! I can’t believe you’re here!” James exclaimed, pleased to see his friend.
Stevie wrapped James up in another hug, “I know, I haven’t seen you in ages! I’ve missed you J.” After letting go of James she looked at Phil and decided she couldn’t leave him out. “You too, Philly.” She said, hugging him too.
“Where are you camped? Are you here with Jesus?” James asked, happiness in his voice.
“Did someone say my name?” A blonde haired man, with hair to his shoulders and an impressive beard walked over. He looked a lot like man’s saviour.
As he walked up he put his arm around Stevie and gave her a quick kiss before hugging James and Phil.
“Man, it’s good to see you guys.” He remarked.
“Yeah, you too mate.” Phil replied.
“Where abouts are you camped?” James asked.
Jesus replied. “We’re up in Orange, we camped with Glen, Frankie and all them.”
Phil and James both chuckled. “Good choice. I’m guessing there’s a lot of beer drinking and guitar playing going on up there.” James added.
“Yeah, its great. Why don’t you guys come back with us for a bit? Will be fun.” Stevie asked.
Phil glanced at James who nodded. “Yeah, sounds good.”
The four friends turned and started walking as a group back towards the camp sites. As they reached they reached the beginning of Yellow they walked around the edge, to the left, towards the steep hill which lead to Orange.
While they walked they all talked and caught up. James spent most of the walk talking with Stevie while Phil and Jesus discussed they’re mutual enjoyment of certain illegal substances.
Stevie and James’s conversation was a little more personal. The two had always had a close bond and Stevie was one of the people James liked to confide in. After telling her where he was camped and who with their conversation turned to Mel. This is what usually happened when the two spoke, this time however there was not much to say as James was still in the same shit situation and not much had changed. Stevie gave James a small hug of sympathy as they walked and after that it was time to scale the hill.
Stood at the bottom James gazed up at the top. Up close it was a lot steeper then he had thought and as he watched people gingerly traverse it he was amazed that they could still do it with all of their luggage in tow.
“How’d you guys manage to drag all your shit up this hill?” He asked
“With great difficulty.” Jesus replied from in front of him.
“Yeah, I’ll bet.” He said starting to climb.
As he climbed the hill he followed behind Phil, Jesus and Stevie, who had all climbed this hill in the past and new the best route up. This was more or less walking straight up the hill, just to the side of the path leading up it, which by now resembled something more like a giant mudslide, and as he climbed he watched people slip and fall while trying to use the path.
Once they reached the top of the hill James was panting, it wasn’t a long distance but the steepness had really taken it out of him. He paused, hands on hips, to catch his breath. The others patiently waited for him, talking amongst themselves and catching their own breath. While they were all stood around James turned back to look where they had come from and for a second his jaw went slack as he caught sight of the view before him. Noticing his stare Stevie joined him in looking out at the view.
“It’s something, isn’t it?” She said.
“It really is.” James breathed.
Spread out before him was a spectacular view of Yellow camp site, leading up to the arena. With darkness setting in, the sun setting in the background and campfires beginning to sprout up it made for a truly remarkable view.
“Makes the climb almost worth it.” He remarked.
“Almost.” Stevie smiled crookedly at him.
James continued to stare unabashed, albeit by now fairly drunk, at the splendour of the view. It was one of those things that was truly unique to a festival, and it was an image that he would carry with him for a long time. His reverie was interrupted, however, by Phil and Jesus yelling at him to hurry up. They were impatient to get to the tents and drink some more. James reluctantly turned away and walked on to join them. He new he would be back to look at that view some more later.
*
Back in Yellow camp site Anna was laughing. To go along with her smile she had one of the worlds truly great laughs. She laughed with her whole body and to watch her face light up as she did so was to see true joy. In that way she was quite like James, they both liked to laugh more then anything else, to them there were few feelings that could compare.
The subject of Anna’s amusement was Rich, they were all drunk by now and Rich was breaking out his list of rude and inappropriate jokes that he liked to tell when he’d had a few too many. Listening to Rich, next to Anna, with his own smile was a new face, Mike. He and his buddy, Mitch, had arrived just after Phil and James wandered off to the shops and they had set up camp right next to their tent.
After erecting their own tent, which was one of those old fashioned toblerone shaped tents that had clearly seen better days, they introduced themselves to the group and joined them in drinking. Mike was sat with Rich and Anna while Luke and Brian were talking animatedly about bands off to a side. This left Mel and Mitch who were sitting a ways off by themselves, and as Anna glanced over, they seemed to be getting very close and intimate. She made a small grimace and then turned back to hear Rich’s next joke, which turned out to be racist and was really only funny because they were all way too drunk.
It was now full dark in the camp site, however due to their proximity to the path they had the benefit of the pathway lights to provide some mild illumination on their camp circle.
Even though they had light the night was still making it pretty cold to sit around. To remedy this Brian went into his tent and came out with several large pieces of wood and proceeded to make a fire over the trash pile. Anna wandered over to watch him.
“Where’d you get the wood?” She asked
“Brought it with me.” Brian replied, as he stacked the wood.
“Can’t you buy it here?”
“Yeah, but it’s ridiculous how much it costs. Got this from a tree my dad cut down last week, that makes it free.” Brian grinned up at her.
“Nice.” Anna remarked.
Brian finished stacking the wood and took out a box of matches, in preparation of lighting it.
“This isn’t going to go well.” Anna predicted.
Brian looked up at her quizzically. “What?”
“You, drunk and an open flame. It can’t end good.” She explained
Brian grinned at her. “You’re probably right, you might want to stand back.”
Anna saw the wisdom in this and took a few steps back as she continued to watch. Brian picked up a piece of newspaper from the trash pile and set it alight with a match. He then placed the burning piece of newspaper in the centre of the fire and watched in satisfaction as it set fire to the wood.
Anna let out a breath of surprise. “Wow, that went surprisingly well.”
“Thanks.” Brian replied.
“What we gonna do when this wood all burns out?”
“I got some more in my tent.”
Anna favoured Brian with a smile. “That’s some good planning.”
“Thanks.” Brian replied, what appeared to be a drunken flush appearing in his cheeks.
With the fire now burning merrily the group rearranged themselves around it. All apart from Mel and Mitch who told the group they were going for a walk and wandered off together. Anna watched them go and it didn’t take a great leap of her imagination to know what was going to happen with those two.
She turned back from watching them leave and stared into the fire for a while. The dancing flames held her rapt attention but what she saw in them only she knew.
*
Over the crackling of the fire James listened as the man sat opposite him strummed the first few notes of his song on the old and battered acoustic guitar. He recognised the song instantly and grinned as he nodded along to the opening of the song. As the guitar player approached the opening verse James quietly, almost to himself, sang the lyrics along with him. As he did he glanced to the side at Phil and saw he was doing the same. Then, as they came to the chorus, the two friends, as if cued by some unseen signal, started yelling out the worlds together, with true drunken enthusiasm.

None of this is going anywhere –
Pretty soon we’ll all be old,
And no one left alive will really care
About our glory days, when we sold our souls.
But if you’re all about the destination, then take a fucking flight.
We’re going nowhere slowly, but we’re seeing all the sights.
And we’re definitely going to hell,
But we’ll have all the best stories to tell.

Yes, I’m definitely going to hell,
But I’ll have all the best stories to tell.

They sang through the rest of the song that way as the ginger bearded guitar player grinned at them in open amusement.
“That was great.” He laughed.
“Yeah.” James said, his eyes bright and cheeks flushed. He was either in heat or getting steadily drunker. “Can’t beat a bit of Frankie T.”
“He does rock.” The guitar player agreed.
A voice came from behind James. “Do you have anymore songs for us, Glen?”
“Maybe later.” The ginger bearded guitar player responded.
As spoke James turned around and saw that it was Stevie who had asked the question, she was lying in Jesus’ arms in the door to their tent, a little way back from the fire. James smiled at them then took a long drink from the beer in his hand. Finishing it he threw it away and stood up.
“Ok.” He said swaying, drunkenly. “I think we should head back to our camp while we still can.”
Phil stood up next to him, also beginning to feel the affects of the drink. “That’s probably a good plan.”
James wandered over to Stevie and Jesus and gave them both a bending down hug while Phil said parting words to Glen and waved across to the couple. Then the pair wandered through the sea of tents in search of the path that would lead them back to their own campfire.
Back on the path once again they wandered towards the top of the slop that they would now have to descend. When they reached the top James was once again mesmerised by the view of the camp site that the hill provided for them. He and Phil stopped and took a moment to properly take in the sight before them. The sun had long since set and now the only illumination in the midnight blue sky came from a pearly white half moon, with support from many speckled starry companions. Still this light had little effect on the dark fields below. As they looked on they could see the pathway lights weave there way through the field, creating criss-crossing illuminated highways. Away from the lights camp fires were spotted everywhere, providing the same affect the stars did in the sky.
Taking all this in James turned to Phil.
“Impressive.” He said simply.
“Yeah.” Phil agreed.
After this exchange the two turned their attention to the slope and began to, gingerly, make their descent. Halfway down, due to a combination of drink and mud, James slipped and went down to one knee, on which he slid down a fair amount of the slope. As he watched from above Phil laughed in true appreciation of his comrades misfortune.
When he was able to stand again James saw his jeans from the knee down were now brown with mud, he turned around with a big drunken smile on his face to show Phil, causing him to continue chuckling as he finished his descent of the perilous slope.
Now both at the bottom they began the last part of their wandering journey back to their tent, Phil teasing James about his leg while they walked.
“Ha, ha. You have a muddy leg!” Phil started with.
“Wow, that’s imaginative.” James replied dryly.
Phil swayed as he responded. “Give me a break. I’m pretty drunk over here.”
Seeing his friend’s unsure balance James gave him a shove, which caused Phil to slip and fall to his knees himself. When he got to his feet again he had two muddy knees. He looked over at James, clearly not happy at what had just happened.
“Well, now you have two muddy legs.” James grinned as he mocked his friend.
“You’re a bastard.” Phil accused.
“Yes, I am.” James admitted, seemingly happy at the distinction.
The two friends bickered good naturedly as they wandered down the path towards their circle of tents. A short time later they stepped off the path, making their way past the girls tent and entered the circle where they were greeted by the site of their friends sitting round a fire, drinking and laughing.
They walked over and stood over their friends round the fire as they said they’re greetings. James’s eyes immediately searched for Mel and when he only found Mike, whom he didn’t know, his stomach lurched a little. He new what the answer to the question he was about to ask would be, but he couldn’t stop himself from asking. He looked down at Rich, who was sat closest to him.
“Where’s Mel?” He just couldn’t stop himself.
Rich was too drunk to be subtle. “She went off with Mike’s friend…”
“Mitch.” Mike supplied.
“Yeah, Mitch, they’re probably having sex somewhere by now.” Rich finished, half jokingly, before turning back to talking to Mike.
Hearing Rich’s assumptions about Mel caused James’s chest to constrict as a flood of emotion attacked it. While this wasn’t physically painful it was extremely unpleasant for him on a mental level. His face clouded over and he wandered away from the fire to the entrance to his tent, where he could sit by himself and have quick access to copious amounts of alcohol.
Anna was sat across the fire from this exchange but she followed it all. She watched James’s face intently and when she saw his reaction the news about Mel a wave of emotions washed over Anna’s face before she turned back to her conversation with Brian.
James opened another beer as he sat by his tent. He stared intently at the ground in front of him as a combination of jealousy and longing flooded through him, try as he might he couldn’t shake the sickly heart wrenching feeling that came with it. He took a long swig of beer, hoping in vain that it may dull the pain, however this was a situation he had been in many times before and he knew from experience that it wouldn’t. He lay back and stared up at the stars, resting his can on his belly. As he stared at the beautifully clear night his mind mused on all the things Mel could be doing at that moment, none of the thoughts were pleasant ones.
Phil was stood speaking with Luke when he glanced around the fire and noticed James was off laying down by himself. He also noticed the lack of Mel and he knew James well enough to get what was now going through his head. He also knew that if he left him alone James would end up obsessing on it all night. Knowing it was going to be up to him to cheer the miserable bastard up he finished up talking with Luke and wandered over to his depressed friend. He stood looking down at him for a moment, contemplating whether or not this would be an appropriate moment to drop an elbow in an attempt to start some play wrestling. He prudently decided it wasn’t.
Laying down next to his friend the two shared a silent moment staring up at the majesty of the lights that city dwellers rarely get to see.
“That’s pretty impressive.” Phil eventually said, breaking the silence.
James took a moment to answer, as if he was trying to figure out what Phil had been referring to before he answered. “Yeah. It’s like a whole different sky out here.”
“Reminds me of the Firefly theme.” Phil commented.
James responded by saying the opening words to the song out loud. “Take my love, take my land, take me where I cannot stand. I don’t care, I’m still free, you can’t take the sky from me.”
After James trailed off Phil continued the song by saying the next verse. “Take me out to the black, tell them I aint coming back. Burn the land and boil the sea, you can’t take the sky from me.”
James chuckled quietly to himself. “It’s a good song.”
“It’s a good show.” Phil added.
“This is true.” Agreed James.
“That’s why I said it.”
“I bow to your wisdom.”
Phil noticed a mood shift James. “I sense sarcasm.”
“Yet more proof of your wisdom.”
“This conversation seems to have taken a bitter turn.”
“That’s not really a shocker.”
“I suppose.” Phil paused for a moment. “You thinking of Mel?”
“Yeah.”
“Sucks man, I’m sorry.”
“Not your fault.”
“I know. You seriously need to get over this though dude, it’s been going on for ages.”
“I know.”
“It’s not easy I know but if I can do it so can you. You remember Cunt-rag? I’m completely over her now.”
James couldn’t help but laugh. “Something tells me you still may be a little bitter.”
“Nah, I couldn’t give a shit about that bitch anymore.”
“Yet you still won’t use her name.”
“I did, Cunt-rag.”
James laughed again. “That’s just a little mean.”
“Yeah well she deserves mean.”
“She dumped you like a year ago. Shouldn’t the hatred have faded by now?”
“No.”
“Yet you still maintain you’re over her.”
“I am. I just want to cave her face in with a golf club.”
“If you were over her you probably wouldn’t want to do that anymore.”
“Why not? It’d be fun.”
“But that’s not the reason you want to do it.”
“It’s part of the reason.”
“Yeah, but it’s mostly because she broke your heart.”
“That’s why it’d be fun.”
“See, you’re still bitter.”
“Ok, I don’t really want to talk about this anymore.”
“Well I don’t want to talk about Mel either.”
“Okay, so we’ll just lie here quietly then.”
“Okay.”
The pair lay in silence for all of thirty seconds before Phil broke it.
“Wanker.”
“Bum hole.”
“Fuck head.”
“Ball licker”
“Bitch face.”
“Cockmunch.”
The insults continued in the same crude vein for some time and only ended when Anna wandered over and lay down on the other side of James.
“You two still doing that insult thing?” She asked.
“Of course.” Phil responded.
James finished his beer and sat up to reach for a new round from the tent. When he lay back down the conversation continued.
“So what have you two been talking about when not insulting each other?” Anna inquired.
The response came from Phil again. “Just the usual.”
“Mel.” Anna stated matter of factly.
“And Cunt-rag.” James supplied.
Anna grimaced. “You’re still calling her that? I don’t like that word. I thought you’d be over it by now.”
“Apparently not.” Phil replied, rather stiffly.
“Yeah, well you should move on.” She suggested
Phil was unsurprisingly sarcastic. “Sage advice.”
“I thought so.” Anna said, ignoring the sarcasm.
“If only it were that easy.” James, almost wistfully, added.
Anna turned her head to the side and looked at James, he was staring off into the sky, his eyes glassed over as he looked at something none of the others could see.
Looking back up to the sky herself Anna decided to shift the subject slightly.
“This is all getting a bit depressing.” She started.
“Yeah.” The other two agreed.”
“How about some new shit. You guys got your eye on any new girls?” She asked.
“Not me. I’m the same as always.” James answered first, “How about you?” He asked Anna.
“No. No girls.” She joked.
James smiled and glanced around at Anna. “Shame, that’d be hot.” This statement elicited a grunt of appreciative laughter from Phil before James continued. “Seriously though, anyone?”
Anna was quiet for a moment. “No. No one.”
James looked the other way at Phil. “How about you?”
Phil seemed to consider this for a moment. “I don’t know. Not seen any girls. Maybe I’ll trying being gay for awhile. Could have some fun with Luke.”
James chuckled. “Poor Luke, he’s had a crush on you for ages.”
“Yeah. Maybe it’s time I gave him a little.” Phil said, grinning himself.
“That’s awfully nice of you.” Anna joined in.
“Well I’m an awfully nice man.” Phil modestly replied.
“Clearly.”
The trio chuckled at this and then lapsed into silence. Staring up at they sky they listened to the unique noise of a music festival campsite. One thing that struck them all was once they took the time to actually listen it registered just how loud the whole thing was. Secondary to this was the sheer variety of the noise, from the different accents and dialects of people talking at the tops of their voices to the sheer variety of the types of music that could be heard blaring from CD players, campsite speakers and even the odd guy with a guitar. There were other, less distinguishable, noises as well, but it was up to each of their individual imaginations to guess what was making them.